From Paris With Love, "Citizen Cocaine"

Travolta Treating A Can Of Monster Like The Skull Of Yorick

Renaissance man Luc Besson has his finger on the pulse of what today's noblemen and cinema viewer finds entertaining. Besson is a director, writer and producer of what will surely be seen as a collection of work comparable to that of discovering a foreign land. It was shocking to see the brilliant mind behind such Shakesperean-inspired classics like, Transporter 3 and Bandidas, pick up his golden pen one more time to write From Paris With Love. A movie with many scenes dedicated to high-class human interaction. I believe there is a scene in this film where the star, Jonathan Rhys Meyers is playing chess and brilliant quips are exchanged only for the scene to end with Meyers walking away saying, "Oh, but the game is over, checkmate!" Such poetry is only matched with the appearance of one of the finest actors since Sir Laurence Olivier, John Joseph Travolta. Travolta went the extra mile of not only co-opting American urban linguistics, but shaving his legendary flowing locks for the role. From Paris With Love inundates the viewer with scenes of gun ballet that rivals a John Woo feature and dialogue that resembles the quintessential intellectual movie, Booty Call.

Two Men, Two Condoms, A Prostitute and A Vase Of Cocaine

Director Pierre Morel, has had a tough run as of late. The movie elite did not accept Taken nor did they shine to District B13, rightfully so, considering that his best work would come years later with what will surely be referred to as the best filmic masterpiece since Aeon Flux. From Paris With Love is centered around many life decisions the average person has to make. Johnathan Rhys Meyers plays James Reece, an assistant to a powerful United Kingdom minister -- with hopes of becoming a United States secret service agent with no training whatsoever. James Reece has spied on the minister and several other political figures via microphones with gum attached to them and guns with bullets inside of them. One mission closer to secret servitude, Reece is given one objective; he must be an assistant to John Travolta's Charlie Max.

Charlie Max is a brut of a man with a dyed goatee coupled with a love of American energy drinks and promiscuous women. Travolta digs deep channeling topical phrases from such mainstream staples like Yo! MTV Raps [circa '95]. When Charlie Max riles up Reece to beat up a gang in a parking lot by shouting "Yeeeeah Boyeeee!" [a nod to poet laureate, William "Flava Flav" Drayton no doubt] the action sequence that followed [Max beating up the gang with a single baseball bat] was adequately topped off with Max saying, "Now that was some impressive shit!" Yeats could not have said it better. Morel cleverly glues together scenes with one constant figure, a vase filled to the brim with cocaine. I believe this is a play on how we as humans feel stagnant in our daily lives and don't really feel alive until filled to the brim with cocaine.

In A Touching Scene Between A Man And His Gun, Travolta Kissed His 9mm Glock

From a technical perspective, From Paris With Love illuminates every scene with ample light from various gun barrels and car explosions. Citizen Kane is often referenced as the seminal benchmark for media. From this point on, From Paris With Love claims this authority of high-art. When scenes that show a simple argument between two men in a high-class Chinese restaurant result in -- not only the wait staff -- but the cooks and patrons pulling out firearms; the viewer must realize that no other director or cast can execute visual art such as this.

In a passionate scene, Reece is forced to dispatch a loved one after being promptly convinced by Charlie Max of the person's treachery. Minutes later the movie ends with the two characters playing chess. To the untrained eye, this could come off as sloppy editing, bad directing and violence for the sake of violence. To this I say, so? Guns are used more than words and words are used more than practical thought in From Paris With Love. This movie manages to be one of the worst and best acted movies of our time. If there were a spectrum of what constitutes a terrible movie, From Paris With Love has engineered itself to land just a head of idiot savant. Its quite clear the reason Travolta is speaking with such an outdated accent is because he's channeling several voices from the streets as a means to pay homage to the poor and disenfranchised.

If you can't see that, I really feel sorry for you.

I give From Paris With Love...

"We Will Be Saying Uggggggh, If We Don't Save Our Environment"

The "Master P And Romeo And Man-In-Giraffe-Suit Supporting Earth Day" Award