Cabin In The Woods -- Great Movie, Or Greatest Movie?

Wait a minute, a movie that is both funny as it is terrifying? That's gotta be worth watching, right?
So Cabin In The Woods is the greatest movie of the year. No, I haven’t seen every movie released in previous months. Nor do I intend on seeing any other movies in the future. This is it. The last movie I’ll ever need to watch. It’s only fitting I watched this film after watching The Avengers. There should be some sort of barometer to gauge my tolerance of Whedon/Hemsworth exposure, but luckily this movie functioned as an adequate chaser.

Writing about Cabin In The Woods is going to be easier than expected. Seeing as just about anything descriptive about the film would function as a plot spoiler. But I like to see these little scribblings I do on the internet as time capsules, things I can revisit in the future. Here’s hoping the writing holds up well over time. Also, future me, apologies for being hyperbolic.

Balancing the offerings between this film and The Avengers, it’s clear one is a dissection of the other -- of all, actually. Cabin In The Woods functions as a less pretentious Scream film, where character archetypes are made abundantly clear from the start, only for director Drew Godard to -- well again, no spoilers. You’ll have to see for yourself.

The biggest gripe I have with the Cabin In The Woods is that it’s almost too fast paced. It’s a smart, funny and a gory tale. I wish I could have reveled in the environment longer. It’s almost as if the film is being explained to the audience, rather than presented as an experience. If that makes any sense. Think about when you were in grade school and your glass had to walk in a single-file line to go to the bathroom, what was that all about? Any way, there always came a point when your teacher wanted you to hurry up, but it’s not your fault you had pee-pee shyness. These things take time.

Every possible nightmare introduced in Cabin In The Woods, is almost immediately diffused by the acknowledgement of the fact that what we've been trained to fear is now a trope. Yes, there is the nod to how Japanese horror films fell out of favor with the horror watching communities.

Cabin In The Woods is almost moving at the speed of light to show you how fun it is to laugh and watch horror films with friends. Though I attended this film with no friends, or date for that matter. Actually, there weren’t very many people in the theater. Actually, I’m pretty sure the nine people [including myself] that watched Cabin In The Woods with me started as a crowd of 18. Most of the patrons were lead out by a displeased lady friend.

So yeah, Cabin In The Woods is the best movie of 2012 so far, and you probably want to catch it sooner than later. So many things get killed. Like, a lot of things get killed in this movie. There is a cameo appearance and there is also Richard Jenkins, who is the best actor of our time [in case you didn’t know].

If you are someone who is reading this and hasn’t seen “Cabin.” I’m sorry, this is possibly a useless review to you. For those of you who have seen the film and are reading this for validation purposes, welcome to the finer things club.


I give Cabin In The Woods …
















He probably just saved money on his car insurance.

The “Mr. Burns Evily Laughing Whilst Steeple-Fingered” Award