Commercial Break: Relationship Tips From A Peacock Spider

You know Peacock spider, we're not so different. I sometimes find myself in the woods taking calculated steps to attract the right mate. Sure, if I strike out I can always take the "maybe she wasn't the right one for you angle." You? Well, let's just say I hope you invested in running shoes.

Even still, the whole ritual mentality of, this is where you go and this is what you do in order to be successful in your short little lifespan, whilst attempting to attain a mate? I feel you dog...err...spider. I put on clothes I feel comfortable in. I go out to the woods, hoping that this little dance I'm doing isn't going to get my eyeballs eaten -- 'least that's what I'm always afraid of.

The ones that run away? Hey, there's no accounting for taste right? But the ones that stick around make the game a little more interesting don't they? You flash your flamboyant flag of color. I introduce myself. You're hoping fangs won't be crunching through your tiny exoskeleton before the dance is over. I'm hoping what I just said was endearing enough to continue the conversation. See? It's the same.

You move your legs at precise angles creating a very deliberate pattern. You vibrate and thrust your abs and why not, you've got a totally blasted core. Like you, we do all these things -- out here in the woods, but you do it with much dire circumstances on the line. I, or I should say, my species does it as if  dire circumstances were on the line.

Yes, yes. We can learn a lot from the Peacock spider. There are a lot of dances we do, none as important as our arachnid friend.