UFC Undisputed 2009 [PS3]: Rednecks Need Not Beat Their Wives

A Game So Realistic You'll Swear You're Wearing Their Sweat. Yuck.

I'm going to be honest with you. I wanted to hate UFC Undisputed 2009. I have had a long running disdain for the UFC President, Dana White, and have had issues with how he treats the average fighter in his organization. The only 3D fighting games I have ever loved and played competitively are made in Japan [Namco-Bandai & Sega]. So why do I feel so dirty having fallen head-over-heels in love with Undisputed's Career Mode and incredibly deep fighting system? Though Dana discouraged and even cut fighters from this game, THQ and developer Yuke's Osaka hit it big with a create-a-fighter mode that is practically a peared-down version of the tools the devs used. If Fight Night: Round 4 proved fighting sims aren't dead then Undisputed proves that non-Japanese fighting games can be just as deep minus the weapons and fireballs.

Grudge Matches Are Also In Undisputed And So Is Ref Yamasaki!

There are some ugly spots in this otherwise polished title. The grappling and stand-up combat is 80 percent fluid and snappy. The clunky 20 percent is where you'll see slight delays in grabs and holds -- occasionally slug fests between fighters look akin to Rock'em Sock'em Robots. Though I sing the praises of the create-a-fighter mode having limited options between what kind of fighter your character could be, leaves a lot to be desired in the variety department. You're either a slugger or a submission specialist -- which isn't too far from the few dimensions that actually flesh out the roster of the real-life UFC.

Seriously, Why Wear A Belt?

Another gripe would be the lack of a female division, but since that doesn't exist in the real or virtual world of the UFC; I'll adjust my critical gaze to the boob physics of the ring women. Yes, the ring women are apart of the UFC environment, much like its cool scheduling system or how you as a fighter, must balance training and commercial appearances. But why do we need to <insert ring troll> in every match? Seriously there is no reason for these virtually realized jello-mold boobs [I'm sorry they are attached to fake women that exist in the real world] to appear during my young upstart's first or second match which are held in cold, sterile gyms.

Protip: Work On Strikes And Take Downs Religiously, Its The Only Way Submitting An Opponent Becomes Easier

The caveats aside, UFC Undisputed 2009 is one of the best fighting game experiences I have had in a long time. The fight mechanics are a breath of fresh air and I adjusted well to the lack of fireballs or winged creatures. This game does specializes in small touches: the instant replay of a knock out, an El-P song playing in the background of your training, Joe Rogan being all Joe Rogan-y with great play-by-play calling. Over rounds, your player sweats and looks fatigued. The graphics are great, but this uncanny valley of realism occasionally makes your players skin look like silly putty I won't be buying any Affliction shirts or getting stupid tribal tattoos. I still powerfully despise Zuffa Inc. But much like the real UFC events, playing along and watching matches unfold against a friend or the tough computer A.I. makes this game worth shouting expletives of joy.

I Give UFC Undisputed 2009...


The "Parma State Of Mind" Award