Site Of The Day: "E-mails From An Asshole"
Thursday, July 9, 2009 at 5:39PM 
Like most of you guys/gals out there I have to field a fair amount of e-mails from coworkers, customers, and a good lot of strangers. Anyone who has dealt with anyone on craigslist or eBay will be able to relate to the need of a website, a blog that vocalizes the: overly wordy, ill advised or just plain stupid e-mail that people get on a daily basis. Well folks I give you:
One man, by the name of Mike Partlow [or Anderson, I'm pretty sure it's a name we shall never know in order to shroud his identity from the people who want to commit heinous acts on his person] has decided to take it upon himself to make sure anyone who posts an ad in the classifieds or similar 'help sites' on the web and make the average Joe's live a little tougher to deal with
After The Jump Is An Example
Here's an example:
Original ad:
i need a ride from philly to bonnaroo in manchester, TN! i will throw up some cash for gas. i dont have that much stuff either. i am a down ass chick and will be fun to ride with! From Mike Anderson to ************@***********.org
Hey! I'm taking my truck down to Bonnaroo and should have an extra seat. I'm planning on leaving Wednesday afternoon. Does this work for you?
From Katie ******* to Me
yes that is fine! thank you! where do you live? i can meet you somewhere if it is easier for you.
From Mike Anderson to Katie ********
I live in West Philadelphia, born and raised. I can meet you anywhere you want. So far it is me, you, my friend Josh and his friends Steve and Rob. It should be a fun ride!
From Katie ******* to Me
great! how big is your truck? i may have a lot of stuff.
From Mike Anderson to Katie ********
My truck is pretty big. It is a Mazda Miata and it can hold around 3 people. You will probably have to sit on Steve's lap. He's fat though, so it will be somewhat comfortable to sit on. Are you attractive? My only concern is that Steve may get turned on when you are sitting on his lap. If this is an issue, you can sit on Josh's lap because he is gay. The only problem with that is that if you are fat, you may crush him because he is a small dude. But if you are fat you can probably just sit on Steve's lap without him getting aroused.
From Katie ******* to Me
what?! how the hell are you going to fit 5 people in a miata? that isnt a truck! i dont want to sit on anyones lap.
From Mike Anderson to Katie ********
Oh, I get it. You are one of those Ford fanboys that likes to hate on Miatas. That's okay, I'm not too adamant about Mazdas. If you don't want to sit on Steve or Josh's lap, you can sit on mine, since I have a girlfriend and won't try anything. You will have to drive since my legs will be stuck, though. That's probably better, anyway, since my license is revoked until 2012, and I have a few warrants. Do you know how to drive stick? If you don't, I can teach you. You can pick it up in like five minutes.
From Katie ******* to Me
no im not driving are you fucking kidding me? this sounds like a horrible ride. ill find another ride thanks but no thanks. i still dont get how you are going to cram 4 dudes into a miata.
From Mike Anderson to Katie ********
Do you have a car? You can just follow us down there in your car if you want more room. I take the long way, however, since if I get pulled over in Kentucky or Virginia I will probably go to jail. We are going around, through Missouri. Missouri is really nice though!
From Katie ******* to Me
IF I HAD A CAR I WOULDNT NEED A FUCKING RIDE
THIS IS RIDICULOUS IM DONE TALKING TO YOU
Reader Comments (2)
oh man, for whatever reason reading through some of those emails made my stomach lurch a little bit! i can't believe people engage him for so long!
The patience of the average person is something to behold. Take me for example, I've been on the phone with Time Warner for 30 mins ...I'm trapped, I feel if I hang up I will undo the powerful waiting I'd done to get me to this point of 'possibly waiting less'. If I stay on the phone there is still the chance of me waiting longer and still not get help. See? It's all relative.