Movie Review: Australia

You Gotta Admit, Out of All The Posters You've Seen For This Movie...This One Is The Most Hilarious

Before you read this review here are some things you should know:

Yes this review will have spoilers! No, Paul Hogan does not make a special guest appearance. No there will not be any 'roo' or Didgeridoo references. Finally, yes, I am very much disappointed with this flick. It has so many good portions and parts, but crikey, I just can't rap my boomarang around this big budget piece of fluff.

The Brog Get's Deep After The Jump...

Ah...He's Like A Young, Aussie-Version Of Gary Coleman

If there is anything I dislike more than love stories within a WWII setting, would be child-narration during a love story set in Australia during World War II [i know...it's a site specific pet peeve, but a pet peeve nevertheless]. Children like Brandon Walters are one of the main reasons I really do not like watching children in dramatic-features. It isn't so much that his acting is terrible, no wait...it is. Walters does have a couple scenes that tug at your heart strings, but nearing the end of the movie he almost becomes an Aussie-version of Short Round from Indiana Jones. The best thing about his story was never delved into that much; his family. Walters plays a young boy who is trying to find out who he is, eventhough he's barely broken into puberty. He is a half white, half aboriginal or 'creamy' and has oodles of responsibility. From being one of the driving forces of this movie, to being an annoying narrorator and even a young balladeer. This kid does it all, even when you don't want him to.

"Hey Horsey? Jealous?!"

Even with the lush environments and just outright beautiful cinemotography, Australia falls apart with its 'sometimey' nature and computer generated scenes. Coming from someone who has watched his fair share of the 2008 version of Knight Rider, I know a soundstage when I see one. To the post-production team's credit, there are scenes where you honestly could not tell which was the stunning landscape that is Northern Australia (cough*Western*cough) or a carefully computerized sculpture of the tragedies that occurred in the 1930's. What you will come to realize with every technical achievement in this marginal epic; for every visually moving sequence there is an undoubtedly mundane or something garishly hammy that follows.

Put Kidman In Any Situation...She Will ALWAYS Look Amazing

There is a scene where Kidman's character Sarah Ashley is seeing Australia's outback for the first time [if you have seen the latest Indiana Jones movie you will probably appreciate this more]. Kidman is being driven by Jackman and witnesses a ridiculous scene involving the shooting of a kangaroo. This felt like a classier version of LaBeuf's 'being one with the monkeys' in his last blockbuster. Nearing the end of the movie, Jackman's character [outcasted for not being down with whitey] surprises Kidman at a high-sadiddy black tie affair in what can only be describe as the embodiment of self-indulgence [for a second Wolverine looks like Superman]. This style the director Baz Lurhmann is going for is not only ham-fisted, but kind of a rip off of better films.

What is most disappointing about Australia is that it actually gets some things right. Talking about the Lost Generations and opening the eyes of this generation of film goers of a an issue, that is all but ancient is critical. Having a movie dedicated for Australians and made almost wholly by Australians in this grande of a scale is nothing short of paramount. Casting actual Indigenous Australians [Aborigines] in a movie of this calibre is important for not only aborigines or even Aussies, but for all of us to see. It was Nicole Kidman's dream to make a movie like this for her people and the movie, behind the scenes, probably has a much better story than the derivative dribble you will see in the theatre.

According To The Script...Jackman Is Practically A Black Man...

When a movie like Australia is being made, with this much at stake, time is its best and worst enemy, it is a fine line. Whether the movie's facts are accurate, will be an issue for the historians. This 2 hour and 40 plus minute sloth of a movie feels excruciatingly longer. Lurhmann sets a campy tone for the first hour of the movie, with slap stick humor abound. Unfortunately, the amount of campiness completely jars the viewer once people left and right start getting all dead [and not from natural causes]. On top of that, this movie...is a love story. There are obligatory shots of Jackman being all rugged and manly in the wild, but apparently only needing to bath once? Kidman has her suitcase ransacked at the start of the movie, but I swear I seen 20 different outfits in the two hours that followed. And trust me...she looked amazing in each and every one of them.

If Australia is nominated [because i don't see it winning, but it has been a slow year] for anything this year, it should be all things technical. The principal photography and all things image quality related are superb. The story is inconsistent, it is a fictional account of real events, a love story, a journey of a little boy who is forced to become a man. I would have been happy if Lurhmann stuck with one of those! Instead we have the largest Australian movie ever made centered around liberal politics, the exploitation of an indigenous people and a sappy love story filled with violins and pianos with a style so obviously lifted from Casablanca and a dash of Stagecoach. The fact that the movie is formulaic is one issue, but to completely produce fluff out of something so rich with history is really astounding.

Final Grade.

I Give This Movie:

A Punch To The Face