Read of my experiences and tell my story.This list has been a long time coming so let's not delay. What you will find below is a short list of all-things-awful that I've subjected myself to within the last year. Read below and know that every ounce of these individual medias consistently haunt my dreams.
Worst Movie Of 2010:
;)
When you can make a freakishly burned man with garden sheer blades for fingers un-scary, you've failed humanity.The Nightmare On Elm Street remake made me cry blood. Which, when I think about it, would have been a better visual effect than any found in this pathetic excuse for a horror movie. How did this happen? Was it the industry's attempt to cash in on yet another tired re-imagining idea? Nah, that happens all the time [and in 3-D no less]. This film with a familiar name had one inherent flaw, it wasn't scary. Actually, it was a chilling tale as to how Hollywood can make a naturally scary-looking acting veteran [Jackie Earl Haley] into a cuddly killing bear. Wait. Did I just say killing bear? Screw it, you get what I mean.
Honorable Mention: Twilight: Eclipse, Date Movie, Clash Of The Titans, Alice In Wonderland [3-D], From Paris With Love
Worst Video Game Of 2010:
;)
It has to win. The final boss is made out of the world's pooper doodles.
Early 2010 I couldn't have been more grateful with the responses I've been getting from my peers and the seven readers who read my stuff [we had eight, but the monkey died] . The honeymoon of reviewing these little trinkets of my interest ended abruptly. I realized that for every one piece of video gaming poetry I've enjoyed there was an overabundance of doo-doo stained toilet paper hidden deep within the confines of a Gamefly envelope. Don't believe me? Have you played Quantum Theory?
Its impressive how a game that openly mimics another popular game's play mechanics, tried to cloak itself from my critical eye, by executing everything its aping woefully terrible. Its a long year when the decision for the year's worst lies between White Knight Chronicles and Quantum Theory. Quantum Theory got the nod because White Knight Chronicles was at least trying something new [MMO injection inside of a single player RPG]. Quantum Theory also had you clinging to pieces of giant turds throughout your quest of hating your life. So yeah, that happened.
Honorable Mention: White Knight Chronicles, Naughty Bear, Final Fantasy XIII [And yes I know it was on my best of Honorable Mention. I'm still very torn about this game]
Worst Television Show Of 2010:
Simply because I hate Outsourced fans -- moreso than Glee fans.Truth be told, there are worse shows hidden deep within the cable channels of anyone with satellite access. The true shame is that most of those shows are reality-based. Outsourced prides itself on being counter programming to paint drying. Not only this, but as NBC continues its shame spiral into programming madness, Outsourced is a slap in the face to the few good [original] titles that are struggling to find an audience due to mid-season shuffles *cough* Parks & Recreation.
Honorable Mention: Dollhouse, Glee, Outlaw, Trauma, Mercy, Flash Forward
Worst Graphic Novel/Trade Of 2010:
Don't let the sleek layout fool you. Beyond the cover is a steaming pile of monotony.
I read them all. How sad. The covers do it to me every time. "Hey, maybe this trade of Fables won't suck as much as the last one!" But I'm always wrong. The story twist and turns [if you want to call them that] are obvious and worse -- prolonged. It was a close debate whether I'd choose the last book of Fables and the newest Justice League clunker, Rise Of Arsenal. Thus far, Rise Of Arsenal is incredibly bad and almost comically so. However, it takes a special kind of terrible to last as long as Fables has. Let us pray for a better 2011.
Honorable Mention: Justice League: Rise Of Arsenal, New Ultimates, Mighty Avengers
The Rest Of The Worse Of 2010:
- Square's unreleased Alien's game seemed to be best kept buried.
- Silent Hill-like cooking show. Seriously, everything this guy does gives me the chills.
- Just about anything Kanye-related is pretty bad. Like this.
- Sumotori Dreams is a free game that still costs you your sanity.
- Lebron James' Twitter
- My favorite sports team record. The Cleveland Cavaliers!
- The worst art: Skin Fruit.
Well that's it. Now I can focus on 2011 with this 2010 weight lifted off my scrawny shoulders. For more of the Brog's Best Of's feel free to peruse the many lists here.