- my story

Behold! The Coolest Scene In The Movie. Note: How Fake Everything Looks.

In any story of fiction, suspension of belief is completely reliant on the manner of how the story is delivered. Though this notion may toss me out of nerd-favor; I was not a huge fan of the original Clash of the Titans. In my young eyes the archaic looking Kraken and over-acting theater-based cast took me out of the mythical tale and placed me on the soft side of a pillow. To the remake's credit, this shiny computer generated version will age just as well as the original. This Clash of the Titans is reliant on quick cuts during the action set pieces, flutes and booming drums during various montages. Its clear where the sound stage ends and the CG begins, but Clash of the Titans impressed me*. Sure these actors could have been plugged in with any bum off the streets, but the script doesn't really demand a multi-faceted character, nor a talented cast. With plastic backgrounds and wonky visuals, this apt remake should be an adventurous laugh riot for those willing to look past some obvious flaws with the movie's pacing.

For A Good Time Insert One Dinar And Call 555-PERSEUS

Making a film that relies solely on special effects is doomed to fail. Maybe the fail doesn't come immediately, but it comes. This Clash of the Titans movie is tolerable because of non-failers like Liam Neeson [Zeus and all around nice guy] and Ralph Fiennes [Hades and sufferer of a terrible case of smoker's lung]. These are two actors that I have confused for one another on several occasions so its good to finally settle this Euro-actor mix-up. Not all of the casting is pitch-perfect, but as a long-tired action movie trope, the story introduces characters prior to battle or a quest and you can't help but think, "Yeah, those guys are so dead." Knowing the limits of this cast, it is surprising to see how much comedy is buried under the broad drama and semi-larger than life action. Jake Sully, sorry Sam Worthington fortunately got his leg back just in time to play Perseus. He filled the requirement of being pretty and quiet and supplying the audience with the one cheesy hero speech that sold me on this movie.

Seriously, What Detergent Is This Woman Using?!

The character Io [Gemma Arterton] was one of the most uninteresting mannequins in the movie. By the way, she is adorable and always has well-washed hair and clothes which is an amazing feat considering the movie consists of them traveling through forest and desert terrain. Maybe she found a stream? Hey its Clash of the Titans, right? Who cares if most of the characters are broad and serve only as Kraken or Medusa fodder. The sub-plot is kind of hilarious. Since when was princess Andromeda [Alexa Davalos] susceptible to being kidnapped by a hippie dropout of Cal-State Fullerton? I digress. Clash of the Titans tells a story of adventure and myth or I think it did, I mean there were so many explosions I couldn't quite make out the 'thinky stuff'. I am in favor of this movie because I expected nothing and experienced something that may not have transported me to a fantasy world, but presented a flawed, but digestible tale.

Wardrobe & Art Design Done By The Artist Formally Known As Prince

This is the important paragraph -- the most important paragraph you will ever read in your life. All of those other paragraphs were okay, but this one reveals the greatest success and failure of Clash. This thinly conceived story or Perseus the fisherman learning of what kind of man he is by engaging on a quest against the gods is slowed every time he meets opposition. Every time Perseus narrowly escapes by a hair you never feel an immediate threat, because the story [and trailer] has made it abundantly clear of the ultimate goal of this movie...releasing the Kraken. The Kraken is Clash's eye candy and center piece for most of the fan-going audience. The beast is beautiful, majestic and clearly where all the money went. I say this seeing scenes leading up to 'the big show' where you can see the green screen hue [in earlier scenes] where character's appear blurry around the edges. Scenes with real backgrounds appear to be plastic and fake looking where CG scenes stick out looking more fantastical and -- if you don't buy in to this world -- even more unrealistic. Maybe its because Clash was going for the PG-rating, the Kraken looked to be playing patty-cake with the city of Argos. Clash of the Titans is fun, sometimes its poetically beautiful, but because of how it relied so heavily on current technology to convey this epic story ... I fear how it will age. With that said, this Clash holds very true to the original.

I Give Clash Of The Titans...

Much Like Clash You'll Laugh Until You Feel AshamedThe "Unintentional Award Of Inappropriateness" Award

*I saw Clash in 2D for a couple of reasons. I have had not-so-awesome experiences with movies NOT intentionally shot for 3D and also I'm refusing to participate in Hollywood's money grubbing skeme for average quality efforts.