Cartoon Shows Based On Video Games That Should Never Have Been Cartoons
Thursday, March 25, 2010 at 7:53AM
Isaiah T. Taylor in Cartoons, Gaming, Video, Youtubeness

[For more on why MK: Defenders Of The Realm should have never left the poor animation studios of Korea, keep reading after the jump]


I watched them, you may have watched them and going back to a Youtube or a Megavideo is a harsh reminder as to why you should let those fond memories of shows like Street Fighter, Captain N and Mega Man live in your childish brains. Yeah, you can make excuses. "It was great because it was cheesy" or "the voice acting was what MADE the show", but ask yourself this: Would you recommend any of these cartoons to children?

If the answer is yes, feel free to leave your name and address in the comments section and I'll be glad to shoot cans of cream corn at your forhead out of a t-shirt cannon.

Let the horror ensue...

Note: The animation changes. This was common during the days of both Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter and Double Dragon. Its my firm belief that many animators eyeballs shriveled and petrified as a result of seeing the torture they were inflicting on both children and parents alike.

Note: I probably watched so much Mega Man as a child that I should turn myself in to the nearest psychiatric ward for further case studies on how dumb a child in the inner-city can be and still maintain both walking and breathing. I will say that this Mega Man was an improvement over the 50-something Armenian voice actor from Captain N. But I digress.

Note: I still stand by that Double Dragon II was the first fighting game I played on the NES. Something I should have continued doing instead of watching this cartoon where both logic and gravity rarely existed.

 

Note: Terrible. Awful. Abysmal. There aren't enough words that can critically rip apart a cartoon so putrid it literally got 4 full views from this dumb kid. Though I exhibited a modicum of smarts as a youth, having watched four full episodes of Legend of Zelda may have resulted in more brain damage than the previous listed animated torture devices.

 

Note: I'm sure everyone is well aware of how terrible of a show Street Fighter was. I'm pretty sure it was the only show keeping the USA network afloat in between randy episodes of Duckman [which I still love, so yes I'm still suffering from some form of Down's] and USA's Up All Night. Did you know that they tried to bottle the genius again? Ladies and gents I give you Street Fighter Alpha: Generations. It is also noteworthy to count how many times Ryu says 'Grandpa'.


Note: Tekken fans need not be so hasty with their jeering [people still 'jeer' right?]. Tekken came late, late enough for me to know better, but as a fighting game fan I found it my personal duty to see this whole 'terrible cartoons based on video games' through. Boy do I miss those brain cells. I could have been the president of a country by now. Pretty sure I just heard Keith David as a voice actor -- if this is indeed true -- even he couldn't save this overly expository piece of excrement.

 

Note: Gonna be honest with you here. I got to claim [even more] stupidity on the Fatal Fury cartoon. I never watched it because by the time my brain was painfully rotted by all the terrible animation from most of the crappy cartoons I watched Fatal Fury was losted in the shuffle. It was either this or Ronin Warriors, I think I chose wisely.

 

Note: Finally, when people talk fondly about what was the best video game turned in to a movie, Mortal Kombat always comes up. It really did seem that way didn't it? All of this merchandise, Happy Meals, and I believe there were a couple video games too. But the cartoon is still something that gives me nightmares. The animation, the voice acting, the writing were enough to make you wonder about that 'monkey's typing Hamlet' theory. What was truly awful was that in a given show there was 22 minutes. 21:59 of those minutes were filled with hilariously painful techno-gothic tunes to drown out the voice acting. "Girl, ya parents ever teach you the word tact?" Puns and drabfully delivered 'catch phrases' are why I deem Mortal Kombat: Defenders Of The Realm the worst cartoon based on a video game.

Honorable Mention: The Super Mario Brothers, Sonic The Hedgehog, Earthworm Jim, Mutant League, Where In The World Is Carmen San Diego and of course Virtua Fighter.

Props To The Switcher he's responsible for channeling years of my [and I'm sure yours] misspent youth via all these videos.

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