It Was Manditory They Wear Nightgowns The Entire Movie
I knew what I was getting into. I had other options. Watching paint dry being one of them. Let me ask you this, where else are you going to see a very square-headed [Emily Browning] girl fight her own sanity, Elizabeth Banks as the new 'hot stepmom' and keep her very loose sister [Arielle Kebble] in line long enough for one of the boringest climaxes seen so far in 2009. I give you, one of the least wordy reviews I have ever penned for a movie...I give you "The Uninvited".
Listening To The New Arcade Fire No Doubt?
Reasons Why You Should See It:
- Lobotomies are too expensive. Kill a couple million brain cells within an hour and 30 minutes [drool cup not included]
- There is actually a pretty decent set up. Have a slumber party and throw caution and logical thought to the wind.
- Elizabeth Banks...very gorgeous woman, but if you want to see some of the worst photos of her...The Uninvited is for you.
- An old lady gets blown up for asking to much of her daughters. Come for the questions, stay for the shame.
- Yet another movie starring women who are clearly of legal drinking age, pretend to be high school teenagers. See what happens when actresses stop being real and start acting terribly.
- If you seen the Unborn you have a great task to complete. Watch two terrible movies within 2 months that both have a quick shot of camel-toe...for absolutely no f@*king reason!
- You have come to terms that life is not going to get any better. Prior to suicide, this should be a direct razorblade to your cerebral cortex
Reasons Why You Shouldn't See It:
- Seconds from the typing this review The Uninvited will be put on DVD for all to enjoy in the privacy of their own personal hells.
- Given you are in a conversation at the end of the year for the worst movie you have seen. You may not want to be caught divulging to much information about a movie you could be ridiculed for watching in the theater.
- Do not encourage K-Horror remakes. We are already suffering through one of the worst Japanese horror remake fads known to film. Korean horror remakes are bound to happen. Let's try and keep this to a minimum.
- These girls...I'm sorry, women, are forced to wear night gowns throughout the entire movie. Now I know there are some pervwads that just ordered their tickets online, let me add; they wear the nighties over their school clothes. Fail.
- You know that TV show, "Am I Smarter Than An Eighth Grader?", really think about that question.
- Paint dries at anytime you want it to. Seeing this movie takes a great deal of effort.
- I watched this movie for you. Tell my story. Do not let me have seen this movie and written this review in vain.
This Movie Is Awarded:
Because You'd Rather Watch Paint Dry Than This Movie.